i actually like asshole couples best like the couples that pick on each other so much and call each other names but it’s okay because you know they’re actually totally in love and none of it is meant in a mean way and every insult is punctuated by a sweet comment to remind the other how much they actually adore them and i’m sorry but there isn’t anything cuter ok
Little Lady - Ed Sheeran
Little lady left this earth in the worst way all because she got a card on her 13th birthday.
the black sisters, 1967.
“I’m not scared of them, Hestia,” Ted said patiently. “They’re just girls.”
“Just girls? These are the Black sisters you’re dealing with. The youngest one, Narcissa, let those Slytherins who look like boulders beat someone up for getting on her nerves. And you don’t understand Bellatrix. Evil takes a human form in Bellatrix Black. She got in trouble last year because she tried to use Dark Magic on a third-year in duelling club.”
He shrugged. “So they’re a little unfriendly. It doesn’t matter. Andromeda is brilliant and I think she’d be really funny, if she stopped being so uptight.”
“Ted, your parents are muggles. You should feel lucky that she just rejected you, rather than turning Bellatrix loose. You’re being thick.”
“I know I’m thick,” Ted grinned. “But I’m just going to keep asking Andromeda out until she says yes.”
Ollivander’s Challenge - The Battle of Hogwarts
‘The best way out is through’
Saturday Night Live 36x12
“When you talk about guns you always hear a lot about the Second Amendment and the Founding Fathers, and what they would say if they were here. Well, I for one think that if the Founding Fathers were here today, they would be super freaked out by cars. You can talk to them all you want about the Second Amendment, and they would just yell, ‘What are all these metal beasts doing rolling down the thoroughfare?’ And you’d tell them, ‘Those are cars’. And then you’d try to talk to them about militias and they would scream, ‘How can you speak of militias when steel dragons fly through the sky?’ And you’d say, ‘Those are airplanes.’ But even if they could wrap their heads around that they would eventually ask, ‘Why are all the slaves out?’ And they would think that. You can groan all you want, but they would think that.
And yes, the Founding Fathers wanted you to have the right to bear arms, but the guys who wrote that would pee through all eight layers of their pants if they saw what guns are now. In 1787 shooting a bullet was slightly faster than throwing one. If you wanted to be bulletproof in 1787 you put on a heavy coat. So with that in mind, I’m all about Americans having guns as long as they’re the muskets from 1787 that take forever to load.”
Official petition to replace yolo with valar morghulis
at monash university in melbourne the women’s department had a bake sale and cupcakes were one dollar for men and eighty cents for women and seventy cents for trans* people to represent the wage gap and heaps of guys kicked off about it being sexist and that’s how i finally understood how hypocritical and ignorant men’s rights activism is
"Your father," Annabeth murmured. "This is really not good." "It is determined," Chiron announced. All around me, campers started kneeling, even the Ares cabin, though they didn't look happy about it. "My father?" I asked, completely bewildered."Poseidon," said Chiron. "Earthshaker, Stormbringer, Father of Horses. Hail, Perseus Jackson, Son of the Sea God." x
My cat is taking up half my bed so I’m retaliating by taking selfies for her and posting them on the internet
Bohemian Rhapsody. Double Speed.
if you can listen to this entire thing with a straight face i will give you a cookie
I SHIT MYSELF LAUGHING 0.2 SECONDS IN OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER
at first i was like challenge accepted but then Galileo happened
still better than every other song
I LASTED UNTIL THE BISMILLAHS
“There is a part of me that is Pam, and there’s a part of him that is Jim, and that part of me is in love with that part of him.”